So you want to be a Swinger but your Partner does not want to Play?

What do you do when your Partner does not want to Play?


Entering the swinging lifestyle for new couples can be a bit daunting. Newbies (‘couples and singles new to swinging or the lifestyle”) know there is much to learn and even more to learn about themselves, their relationship and their roles in their newfound activity. Successful swinging couples will tell you that communication is the key to making not only their marriage work but their lifestyle hobby as well.

Sometimes, only one partner in a sexxy couple “(a couple where both partners are equally sexy”) is truly interested in swapping partners or engaging in recreational sexual activities with individuals to whom they are not married or in a committed relationship. This partner is generally referred to as the desirousparty (“the party in a couple that wants to engage in swinging”) and the other is referred to as the hold-out (“the party in a couple that does not want to engage in swinging).

For more swingers terms and definitions, go to Wikipedia by clicking HERE

For some couples this is a minor inconvenience, while for other’s it can become a major issue. Some couples choose to evolve their relationship into an “open relationship” (a relationship where either one or both of the parties is free to openly engage in sexual and dating activity with someone not their partner) and for others, it can be a deal breaker where they i) do not engage in swinging at all, or ii) they end their relationship to pursue other avenues.


The biggest mistake that any sexxy couple can make in considering this lifestyle is to move to fast. Honesty, trust and open communication are they only methods that will preserve the relationship while attempting to venture into foreign territory. It is imperative that the desirousparty instill trust and loyalty into the hold-out, otherwise; the two could be sitting on a landmine.


Remember, swinging couples are first and foremost committed to one another and their relationship and swapping sexual partners is only a hobby to be enjoyed equally by both partners. If one partner is not yet ready, it would do well for the desirousparty to take it very slow. Swinging is not a race, nor is it a competitive sport. Some couples can make the lifestyle seem like a competition, and engage in “sport-fucking” which can result in detrimental emotional and physical results. Remember: you are not being graded, and if you feel you are – then you are probably hanging around the wrong crowd of people. The swinging lifestyle should be about pleasing yourself and your partner first, no one else matters.



It's a good idea to start out slow and takes things one day at a time. Rather than jumping headfirst into the first gangbang you are invited to, consider joining an online community of lifestyle enthusiasts just like you. Online you will find many people in just your situation, at various level of swinging experience, all eager to make your acquaintance, and help you get adjusted.





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